Welcome to Pondering with a Purpose -
This Week's prompt: Content
Content or living your dream?
Are you living your dream.. you know what I'm talking about.. the dream you always thought you would be fulfilling.. the dream you had where your life would be perfect and you would everything you ever wanted....
ME? I wanted to be a teacher, with a loving husband and five kids.... think I'm living that dream? If you do... then you have not been around for very long! My 'teacher' dreamed died right around the time I graduated college and kept hearing, "When are you starting law school?" By the time I realized law school was wonderful and all... but I didn't want to be a lawyer... I was married, 27 and working to keep a roof over my head. Then when eldest son arrived - I was 29 - it was way too late to think about giving up an income for a year to get a teaching credential. Fast forward 23 years and that 'year' never became a reality. So... teaching didn't happen.
5 kids? Well after having my third and realizing that I was in a 'really bad' situation I knew that bringing another one into that situation was not a great idea. As the years went by adoption became a fleeting thought and then I realized that wouldn't be fair to the three I had as they were shuttled off to their father on weekends and their new sibling would be left behind.... so that dream sort of went up in a puff of smoke as well.
Which brings me to my pondering prose.... am I content? The simple answer is: sometimes.
I have been very fortunate to have the ability to stay employed and keep a roof over my head.
I have been very fortunate to have healthy children who --- for the most part --- have stayed out of trouble.
I have been very fortunate to be able to utilize my creative outlet in a meaningful way.
do I want more? You bet I do! I don't think we are meant to travel this road alone, but after 19 years of singleness I'm not sure I would even know how to begin to share my life with someone. I have this fantasy of finding the perfect person... but the reality is that I've done nothing about making that fantasy come true. I keep putting my children first... and I don't know if that will ever change. In fact... I would love to move to Alaska, but won't do that as it would be way too far away from my kids. So I guess the answer to my own pondering question is that I am content...for now....
Who knows what the future holds?
I would love to read your thoughts on this subject with by your linked up post, or your comments... or better yet... both!